Film roll no. 1, 2, 3

Up until her recent experimentation with film photography, in her mind, taking pictures was all about control. She really likes control. Although she had to surrender her control over most things in her life, she will not let go of her grip on her expectations and emotions.  At least not willingly nor easily. For that reason, candid photography is not her cup of tea. Unless it is absolutely certain that the spontaneous and unannounced snap would lead to the desired result, she almost always spends a minimum of two minutes to set up her frame. Accordingly, her favorite subjects of photography are inanimate objects, which give her all the freedom to reposition, adjust angles, and layer to create a full frame of deliberate composition. This also allows her to capture images with meaningful symbols quietly imbedded everywhere.

This past summer, she ordered a plastic film camera well known for lomography. The package arrived shortly after, but she did not dare open the box for couple of months. She finally took it apart and examined each of the twenty something pieces that came in the deluxe set.

Baby steps. The 20mm fisheye, 38mm super wide, 110mm telephoto, 55mm wide angel are left unchallenged, as she only takes the basic lens to Amsterdam with her. He takes interest in her camera as well and together, they spend the weekend taking pictures of memories they want to keep. Their weekend gets stored in a total of three film rolls, or so they thought.

When she hears back from the studio, she learns that the films are mostly underexposed, lending only six developed photographs. It is unfortunate that there will be no tangible record of the moments they wished to capture, but this makes her cherish the six photographs even more.  She picks three that came out best and gives it for him to keep.

Photography will always bring a certain amount of comfort. What she sees through the viewfinder, she will always control. Now she will have learn to accept what gets imprinted on the film.